You Might Be a Democrat If...

I came across a Jeff Foxworthy post the other day, and it inspired me to start off your morning  with some comic relief.  Enjoy!

You Might Be a Democrat If...   

• You dislike Trump so much that you can’t stand and cheer for a young boy battling cancer during the President's Address to Congress (unless he would have been wearing a “Biden 2020” cap.)
• You support women’s rights, but fight to allow biological men to compete in their sports, because nothing says empowerment like a 6’4” linebacker in a women’s wrestling match.
• You fight for women, but want to allow anyone identifying as a woman into their private spaces.  Who needs locker room privacy when inclusivity’s on the line?
• You claim to be loving and accepting of everyone, unless they’re conservative, pro-life, have traditional values, or dare to sport a red hat.
• You repeat the same talking points over and over because Rachel Maddow said it, so it must be true.  Who needs original thoughts when you’ve got cable news gospel?
• You’re triggered by things most people can glaze over, like a coworker saying “Merry Christmas.” 
• You want peace, but are violent toward anyone who doesn’t think like you.  Nothing screams “harmony” like a good looting or violent protest.
• You think “capitalism” is the root of all evil, but you’re typing that rant from your $1,200 iPhone at a Starbucks.
• You’re all about saving the planet, yet your carbon footprint looks like Bigfoot’s after a cross-country road trip.
• You call for defunding the police, but dial 911 the second your Prius gets a scratch in the Whole Foods parking lot.
• You believe in free speech, but only if it agrees with your latest hashtag campaign.
• You’re obsessed with fact-checking everyone else, but treat AOC’s tweets like they’re carved in stone by Moses.
• You preach “my body, my choice” for abortions, but lose your mind if someone skips a vaccine booster.
• You call conservatives “science deniers,” but think biological sex is just a suggestion.
• You want to ban guns to save lives, but cheer when Hollywood pumps out another "shoot 'em up" video.
• You’re convinced elections are sacred unless your side loses, then it’s all “voter suppression” or manipulation.
• Your safe space comes with a soy latte.
• You couldn't find the humor in this post, felt offended and continued to read the entire list anyway.

Feel free to add to the list in the comments below!  Hope you all have a great day!

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