Q. Years ago I was stalked by the numbers 11:11 until I paid attention and started researching it. Now I started to be stalked by a quote so much that it led me to this email. It says “love is a choice" and not a feeling because feelings can come and eventually go. So:
Do I choose to love my children or is it something that is inside me?
A. I get that moms do unconditionally love their children, and it is wired in them as a survival mechanism. Babies can be hard and require lots of attention. The love (unconditionally) you feel relates to your need to care for them and protect them white they cannot care for themselves. Regardless of the frustration and joy, sleepless nights and smiles, you will care for them and keep them well because you do have love (unconditionally) for them (at least at that stage of their life). A. When we meet someone new, we go through an infatuation phase. This allows us to "fall in love" with someone and even overlook their flaws (like socks on the floor or snoring) as we get closer and get to know the other person. When you chose the right person (everyone has differences, but fundamentally there needs to be common ground) after the infatuation fades, that is when the "love" part of the relationship kicks in.
It is true you have to make effort and chose to love a person (both giving and receiving). Feelings of love are there, but you have to act on it to make the other person feel it (we can get numb to our partners and environment). We all feel love in a different way, and have to determine how our partner feels it, and make a decision to do those things (compliments, spend time, acts of service, hold hands, etc). Parts of love are involuntary, but parts are effort and results of a conscious decision in life long relationships.
And that is all I have for this reading. Thank you. Love and light, Lynn
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3 comments:
What makes the infatuation fade and how long does it normally last? Thank you.
@TheOnlyOne: It fades because it is driven by hormones that are designed to be short term. It can last up to 2 years, but often goes after about 1 year...
Thank you.
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